Happy 71st birthday to Alexander Lukashenko! Can you believe it, old pal? You're officially in your prime, just like a fine Belarusian wine. May your special day be filled with all the things that make you smile - strongman handshakes, Soviet propaganda, and a nice bowl of shchi. Cheers to another year of ruling with an iron fist and looking stylish in your tracksuit. Keep on slaying, Mr. President!